Good morning and God Bless! ::clears throat::

Well Imus in the Morn', hurry up and get your God forsaken butt back on the air. The rumor mill is spinnin' faster than Anna Nicole's mouth around that octogenarian's shalaylee! Imus on WABC, Curtis and Kuby on WOR, and Donna Hanover slippin' back into obscurity in the shadow of Rudy Giuliani where she belongs, that stinky-mouthed ho, bejeez.

Now let's get down to some serious business, Imus in the Morn'. Former Vice President Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize. What the hell is that all about, bejeez? That's like handing the code to the red button over to Ahmadinejad, for God's sake. Just what this methane-producin' cow needs is a Nobel Prize to go along with his Emmy award. What's next for this bloated dingbat? I'd like for him to go on for a motorcycle ride with George Clooney, I'll tell ya that much there, fella. If he wants to fix the hole in the ozone layer, skip the angus burger, bejeez. And speakin' of bloated dingbats, what's with dingy Harry Reid sendin' a letter to Rush Limbaugh's boss, tryin' to get him off the air? I wonder, if he made a few well-placed calls to Reverend Sharpass, maybe his stupid plan could have worked. Just what this fat pill-poppin' loser needs, Imus in the Morn', is to get more notoriety for blowin' out a bunch of hot air. At least he didn't call some of those soldiers na.. well you get the idea, dirtbag. Now Harry Reid can get back to his day job, playing stunt double to Ichabod Crane in the Sleepy Hollow movies, bejeez.

Now bow your heads, ya buncha man-juice guzzlin' homos, and let's pray.

In the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost, the gay vatican priest gettin' it in the back door from the pope we want the most, Lord hear our prayer. Lord, we pray that Media Matters gets set on fire, and the I-man is reponsible for the arsonist's hire, Lord hear our prayer. And finally, Lord, we pray that Israelis take out another Syrian power plant, and while they're at it, fire a missle directly at al-Assad's pants, Lord hear our prayer.

WHICH DOESN'T BELONG AND WHY?!
Which doesn't belong and why?

a) Senator Barbara Mikulski
b) Former View host Rosie O'Donnell
c) Deflated windbag Imus in the Morn'

Well despite the fact that all three of these mouth-breathing mongoloids are indistinguishable in a police lineup, the answer is clearly c, Imus in the Morn' doesn't belong, because unlike the other two idiots, Imus in the Morn' would never be caught dead spelling the alphabet with his tongue on Mrs. Clinton, bejeez.

God bless us and save us!