Good morning and God Bless. ::clears throat::

It's nice to be back from my little vacation Imus in the Morn' - and how's yours goin', bejeez? The next time you're on TV, it's gonna be during a funeral procession ya decayin' pedophile ya.

Now let's talk about some important stuff, before me teeth fall out and someone has to go get the Poligrip. Did you see the little man on campus yesterday, Imus in the Morn'? Ahmadinebutt went to Columbia to give a little speech, and when someone asked him about the fine Iranian countrymen engaging of marathons of shalaylee-hidin', he declared such things don't exist in Iran, and questioned where the information came from. I'm sure Larry Craig was listening to this in the background at the time, and when he heard this Aladdin-lookin' mofo say that, he spit his stallmate's junk out of his mouth. I'm sure he could find a lamp for this Napoleon-lookin' schmuck to rub, and he'll get somethin' out of it, but it won't be a genie, and he certainly won't get to make three wishes, bejeez.

By the way, dirtbag, did you happen to see Auntie Remus Hillary Clinton's version of the Wizard of Oz? (Note: http://www.the-two-malcontents.com/wp-content/uploads/wickedwitch_east_hillary.jpg !) She'll get you, Imus in the Morn', and your little horse-chasin' dog too, bejeez. Hopefully, if we're lucky, when this dingbat is on stage acceptin' the nomination that President BB Brain expects her to get, the light fixtures above her will completely and unexpectedly collapse on top of her, leading a pair of stripe-stockinged legs and ruby slippers protruding out from the twisted metal, bejeez. (Note: http://granitegrok.com/pix/wicked_witch.jpg !)

Now bow your heads, scumbags, and let's pray.

In the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost, the I-man in the morning we want the most, Lord hear our prayer. Lord, we pray that monks in Burma break their vows of silence, but only when the military's tanks shoot all their asses in a dramatic show of violence, Lord hear our prayer. Lord, we pray that Kevin Spacey and Hugo Chavez have a fun play date, and we hope that homo Spacey doesn't turn the visit into a date rape, Lord hear our prayer. And finally, Lord, we pray that Fukuda is a good prime minister for the nips, and the opposition party doesn't chop him up like Abe and throw him in the oceanic dip, Lord hear our prayer.

WHICH DOESN'T BELONG AND WHY?!
Which doesn't belong and why?!

a) Dan Abrams
b) Joe Scarborough
c) Imus in the Morn'

Well despite the fact that all three of these morons were once affiliated with the failing cable news channel MSNBC, which should have been blown up in 2006 anyway, the answer is clearly c, Imus in the Morn', because unlike the other two dingbats, he chose not to go back to the sinking ship after the the clown reverends started their nonsense.

God bless us and save us!