Friday, September 7, 2007

Good morning and God Bless! ::clears throat::

Well Imus in the Morn', I'm sure you heard that osama bin dumbshit put out another video to coincide with the anniversary of 9/11. If you look closely in the video, his beard isn't gray anymore. His resemblence to Obama is getting closer than just his name, bejeez! As a matter of fact, the "Just for Men" people got him in their latest advertising blitz - next I hear they're goin' after Christiane Amanpour, another terrorist, bejeez. And speakin' of Obama, his own wife calls him snory and stinky. Sounds like what Slick Willy says about the fish monger he's married to, bejeez.

But anyway, Imus in the Morn', let's get down to business before Cate Blanchett decides she wants to dress up as you for a movie based on your life, bejeez. Also, ya buzzard-faced dingbat, President BB Brain had a horrible day at the Sydney Opera House. No, it wasn't because of the shrill shrieks and screams of the performers that reminded him of his own bedroom, but because some dingbats tried to act like terrorists, disguing themselves as Canadians and dressin' one of their own up as osama bin dumbshit. By the time he left, President BB Brain was flinging his doo doo at the Prime Minister with his hands like a monkey after saying "kho-kho" for half an hour in front of the podium and borin' the dumb bastards to tears, bejeez.

Now bow your heads, it's time to pray.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, the I-man makin' an announcement we want the most, Lord hear our prayer. Lord, we pray that the iPhone's price drops a little more, and the all the dingbats that bought it again show Steve Jobs the door, Lord hear our prayer. Lord, we pray that Mike Nifong has a nice time in jail, and that the inmates don't treat his ass like a drunk driver does to a guard rail, Lord hear our prayer. And finally, Lord, we pray that Laura Bush's neck surgery goes well, and that the surgeons don't accidentally kill her, sending this bitch hell, Lord hear our prayer.

Which doesn't belong and why?

a) Bloated TV bitch Oprah Winfrey
b) Hotel harlot Paris Hilton or
c) Emmy-hostin' ho Ellen Degeneres

Which doesn't belong and why?!

Well despite the fact that all three of these snotfaced bitches could all pose to be poster children for birth control, the answer is clearly b, hotel harlot Paris Hilton - because unlike the other two dingbats, Paris Hilton is the only one who doesn't walk into someone's home and rip up a piece of the rug and start munchin' on it, bejeez.

God bless us and save us!

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