Good morning and God Bless. ::clears throat::
Let me ask you this Imus in the Morn', what made motormouth Dietl decide today would be the stay he starts mumblin' the beans about how you're gonna be risin' from the dead, bejeez?! Hearin' him talk sounds like someone's holdin' his head under water, ya butt-faced lookin' wrinkled old buzzard. Kind of like a Looney Toons cartoon - you ever see those cartoons, Imus in the Morn'? You probably watched it with your wife while you were dating her, ya creepy old pedophile ya, bejeez.
And where's the liberal prick-suckin' media at with reporting the news that Rev. Tawana Brawley won't protest if you return, Imus in the Morn'? That twinkie-filled mouth-breathing mongoloid ought to miss the train tracks one of these days and fall into the schism, God forgive me. For being a man of the cloth, it makes me wonder why he doesn't wear one more, Imus in the Morn'. There probably isn't enough cloth to cover his fat ass. Probably too busy watching the cross around his nappy neck smack some girl's backside while he's playing hide the shalaylee without her consent, God forgive me. Someone oughta smack him so hard they rearrange the liver spots on his ugly face. While they're at it, they should do the same to you, Imus in the Morn'. Why don't you answer me you numb-struck mummy ya, bejeez?!
And speakin' of rotund squeaky weasels, Imus in the Morn', where has fat Tim been? What with the big erection, er.. excuse me, election comin' up in a few short months, I'd expect him to be makin' his rounds with suckin' Satan's toes, bejeez. Him and Dick Morris go together like cheese and crackers, for the love of baby Jesus. Maybe he'll end up between the Obamas and look like an Oreo cookie waitin' to be dunked in some presidential milk, God forgive me. Well Imus in the Morn', there's a first time for everything. What, with Mary Mapes offering her two cents on Katie Couric. You and her have something in common, you showless wonders.
McCord, you wake the hell up and answer the following question. Did you see Rosie O'Donuts declined on the Price is Right offer, saying she doesn't need the money bad enough? I'm surprised she even took the time to answer. She must have taken a breath between her meals of gourmet fish, bejeez. John McCain's presidential bid is having a wonderful success rate, Imus in the Morn'. His campaign staffers are bailin' faster than your guests after the 'comment' incident, bejeez.
Now bow your heads you devil-worshipping bastards and let's say a prayer.
In the name of the father, son, and holy ghost, a tuna lickin' Jew hatin' Clinton-Obama ticket we want the most, Lord hear our prayer. Lord, we pray that Imus in the Morn' drops dead of a stroke, and Jesse Jackson cracks open his head and sucks out the yolk, bejeez. God forgive me. Lord, we pray that the war criminal Vice-President decides to invade Iran, and that Nancy Pelosi whacks him over the head with a fryin' pan. Lord hear our prayer. And finally, Lord, we pray that the I-man really does get back on the air in September, before he really does get turned into nothing but a burning ember, bejeez. Lord hear our prayer.