Good morning and God Bless. ::clears throat::
Let me ask ya this, Imus in the Morn'. Did you catch the soccer game the other day? The ragheads Saudis played the Iraqi towelheads, and the towelheads won. I'm surprised they didn't celebrate by sending one of their own to the field with a Jew strapped to his back to blow themselves up, bejeez. Did you see that John Roberts has turned into Gerald Ford, Imus in the Morn'? They said he had a seizure - that he was foamin' at the mouth and turnin' ashy. Sounds like you when you wake up in the morn' you decaying lizard ya. Go hang yourself with your oxygen tubes, you deflated windbag ya, bejeez.
I happened to tune in to that hideous channel MSNBC the other night, Imus in the Morn', and pretty boy Dan Abrams had a picture of you stickin' your patchy tongue out in front of a screen full of crime statistics. Once he cleaned the crap out of his pants, he apologized for the incident, but no one's buyin' it, bejeez. The only crime he should be reportin' on is the one his own damn station pulled when they yanked your God forsaken show off the air, bejeez. And there's a story of a man in Shanghai who was electrocuted by his computer. You better watch out, buttface. One of these days, your microphone may find its way inside your ass courtesy of that Nazi newsman of yours, you misanthropic old monk ya, bejeez. It must be hot out in the desert, Imus in the Morn' - your face is really startin' to look like it's meltin', bejeez. But while you're havin' fun out there runnin' your little boarding school, the news is you're gettin' back on the air soon. I hope not, you two-legged turd ya. The only place you should be goin' is an early grave, bejeez.
Now bow your heads, you heathen bastards, and let's say a prayer. In the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost, the I-man goin' for a ride in a news chopper we want the most, Lord hear our prayer. Lord, we pray that Al Gore's son gets off the drugs, and unlike his father, doens't turn into a big fat lug, bejeez. Lord hear our prayer. Lord, we pray that Rubert Murdoch knocks the Bancrofts out of Wall Street, and that Shep and Sean stop suckin' on his teats. Lord hear our prayer. And finally, Lord, we pray that Star Jones needs surgery again, the nasty old hag, and the next time she leaves the hospital it's in a black body bag. Lord hear our prayer.
WHICH DOESN'T BELONG AND WHY?!
Which doesn't belong and why?!
a) Neocon newsman Rupert Murdoch
b) Real estate mogul Donald Trump
c) Morning dickhead Imus in the Morn'
Well I'm not waiting for you idiots to answer, when the answer is clearly a - neocon newsman Rupert Murdoch, because despite all these mouth-breathing pedophiles meeting their wives at the local kindergarten, Rupert Murdoch is the only one who can get sucky sucky for twenty dollah and be loved for long time, bejeez.
God bless us and save us.